Freezing Time
by Past Jaded
Summary: To Winter, living in an instant had always been impossible. But as of right now, she would have given anything to freeze time. Sell her soul, trade away her abilities, her memory, her money, anything, if only it meant she could stay in this precious second a little longer.


Living in the moment. The concept was a foreign one to Winter. When she was younger she had heard many talk about wishing to stay in an instant for as long as possible.

Back then, every day had felt exciting, and overwhelmingly indispensable when it came to finding her own path. Living in an insignificant instant, had seemed an implausible and utterly boneheaded idea to her. For Winter growing up, every day had been a war in itself. Battle training, studies, practice, nutrition, and an overbearing amount strategy had taken over her precious youth. Often she survived on 5 hours of sleep a night, the thought of wasting a second was an improbability. The concept of free time had always been a foreign subject. For years, her only time to herself had been when she was dreaming. The thought of having a relationship with another human being separate from work was ridiculous. Others expected the world of her. She was born into the life of a hired gun. Watching others go about their daily lives and staying separate was her entire existence.

From a young age her family had forced a huge burden on her shoulders, and expected her to hold firm. Whenever the girl so much as lifted a finger in complaint she was molded back into place like some beast. She had been expected to do what was necessary and bring admiration and fear to the family name.

To Winter, living in an instant had always been impossible. But as of right now, she would have given anything to freeze time. Sell her soul, trade away her abilities, her memory, her money, anything, if only it meant she could stay in this precious second a little longer. Her leniency towards ice dust when finishing a mark meant she could easily freeze her surroundings, but the ability to ice over time was an abnormality that she had yet to accomplish.

She shifted her legs, feeling the weight of the down comforter drape against her skin. She could feel the warmth of the morning sun bathe against her closed eyelids and cheek. She could feel her head rise slowly before falling, a sway in time to the breathing of the man below her. His body radiated warmth into her form. She tucked her hands deeper into the space between his back and the mattress, silently praying that she could stay there forever.

 _Please, don't let it be time._ The wish turned into a command in her head. If only the world listened to her as unquestioningly as many of her subordinates did. _Please._

She dared to open an eyelid, allowing the sun the blind her without complaint. Anything it took to stay here a little longer was well worth the toil. She waited, permitting her sight the time it allotted to adjust to the brightness of day. A precious minute seemed to ooze past her still figure. Her sight swung hesitantly to the wall, and she felt her heart sink as the hour switched over to the next.

 _No._ Even in her desperation she felt the world continue to spin around her, commanding life to go on and citizens to continue living, happily oblivious to the pain she was experiencing. She didn't want their time together to be up.

The sleeping figure below her shifted, his hand wrapping around her waist and pulling her closer, like a child grabbing for his beloved toy. She could hear his heart. A steady beating that only mimicked the ticking hand on the clock face. She stared at the machine, as if it would freeze under her heated glare. If she had one talent it was expression, focusing her sentiment into an often impassive face that could make her fellows stand up straighter and listen or mistakenly choose to trust her. If only she could make the world follow her request as innocently as she could her targets.

Winter felt, more than heard, the deep laugh of the man under her. His chest bobbed lightly under her chin and for a second her attention faltered, "You always seem to be watching that clock."

She didn't take her eyes off the ticking time bomb. Maybe if she tried a little longer, a little harder, the world would listen. _I don't want to kill him._

She could feel his body stiffen below her. Maybe he could sense her unease.

His heart was hammering now. _Am I that obvious?_

"Winter," his hands found her shoulders and he gently held her up so he could see her. His crimson eyes were blazing in the morning sun. The pain in her chest was too much, _how can he love me? The woman who caused him so much pain? The woman who couldn't agree to the one thing she wanted more than anything? The woman who was to afraid to trust in love?_ She hesitantly let her eyes roam his naked form. The wounds from prior battles cut into the masterpiece that was him, blending scars into a tapestry of art so refined it froze like a photo in her minds eye. Her eyes dragged along an extensive cut along his ribs, that one had been hers. She cringed at the thought, Imagining that the pain had been inflicted upon herself not him.

He lifted her chin, a worried look painting his face. "Stop thinking so much. We still have a while before you have to be at work."

"No, we don't." Her voice was stoic and cold. It was a perfect embodiment of how her heart felt. "I was supposed to be accomplishing my job an hour ago."

Qrow breathed in a deep breath of air, filling his chest to the brim before letting it out every so slowly. She could make out sharp indentations from her nails on his chest and thighs. Thankfully those had been created of love, not indifference like the sword wounds she had left on him years ago. She had sliced him apart when she was young and naïve, thinking he was just another target. Assassination was a horrendous occupation. It required so much out of its instrument, and this instrument was wearing thin. Someone must have found out she had spared him years ago.

Her thoughts disappeared into the air like autumn leaves, when his mouth found her neck, sucking and kissing with fervent passion. She let out a sharp gasp. "Qrow, now isn't the time."

He smirked against her chest and she could feel his beard scruff tickle her skin, "You said yourself that you're already late. Why not stay here as long as you can?"

She should push him away, end it here. The night before had already been a last goodbye in her book. This was the last thing she needed before taking a life… and yet she couldn't bring herself to put a stop to his frantic kisses. His hands were skimming her thighs now, drawing endless patterns on her pale skin, working his way up to her hips. Just above her waist she felt his hand pause, before pinching lightly. She frantically kicked out her legs, a giggle escaping her lips.

The smile that lit his face had her heart do a wild leap in her chest. She should have known better, he already knew all her weak points. _I've made too many blunders this time. I don't know if I can follow through. Her enemies had already taken away the first person she cared for, she couldn't let them torture a second. It would be better to make this quick._

"I find it hilarious how you do that," his fingers gently tickle the same spot he had pinched seconds ago. Watching wide-eyed she feels his hands once again tickle against her sides, running gently over her ribs before returning to her hip and sending another jolt through her brain as he pinched. A laugh escaped her throat and she could see the look on his face switch to predatory. The gleam in his ruby eyes was killer. She sat up straighter, accepting that she couldn't say no to this untamed craving in front of her. He was slowly becoming an addiction she couldn't escape.

When he tackled her, the unhidden vigor in his enthusiasm to simply be with her gave the girl a second of pause. Her entire body froze for an instant before her inhibition was crushed by the weight of his mouth on her own. Their love last night had been leisurely carried out; the hours ahead had felt unending. How wrong they had been. The morning had dawned far to quickly upon their sleeping forms. Winter wished the morning had never dared to break the horizon.

His lips moved wildly, consuming everything she gave. His tongue wound with her own, drawing a moan from her normally hushed lips.

 _One last time. No one can blame me._

His need was evident; she felt it against her thigh. Automatically, her legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him towards her, any last distance between the two disappearing. Her chest pressed against his and her heart sang. There was no way he couldn't feel her anticipation, her excitement and desire racing with her blood, pounding with every pump of her heart.

 _If I could live in one moment for eternity it would be this one, right here, right now_. Need, aspiration, and craving filled her body to the brim. It felt like the most important choice of her life.

 _I deserve this ecstasy. For once, I want to be loved. If he kills me so be it._

When his hand wound its way from grabbing her hair to squeezing her breast she let out a moan. His tongue traced her lips before pulling away. A mocking grin was on his mouth.

The last thing she expected to escape his mouth were the words that came next, "I love you." Immediately, her face flushed red, and her temperature escalated. He had let it slip out with enough emotion behind his words to mean it was the truth, and it killed her. She saw his mouth open to apologize, but she wouldn't let him. It was all she had ever wanted him to say, but at the moment that simple wish hadn't been the one she'd sought to come true. Her mouth quickly pressed a light kiss against his mouth, anything to keep him from speaking another oath that would destroy her. Anything to keep him from saying something that might keep her from doing what was necessary. She watched as his form relaxed against her. He hadn't meant to hurt her and she understood. Winter forgave. She pardoned him for everything, but herself for nothing.

She moved her mouth to his neck, sucking hard before burying her teeth into his flesh. She felt his whole body tighten and it was her turn to smirk. Removing her mouth she looked in his eyes. She knew what it took to get him going and the flash of adrenaline was indeed there. He always did react when she inflicted pain upon him. The realization hit her like a slap to the face. Maybe that's why they had such a physical relationship.

His hands shifted her body onto his lap before raising her hips slightly. Once again his hands were trailing up her thighs. Her forehead nuzzled against his shoulder. He breathed out and she breathed in. The sharing was what she would miss most, whether it be the warmth, the air, the love, or the unconcealed desire. His eyes locked on her own and she felt her heart beat wildly again.

A second later his fingers were inside her. She groaned into his chest, her teeth biting into her own lip to preserve any self-decency she still held in his presence.

Her grabbed her hair, pulling roughly, exposing her throat. A second later his tongue was running along her windpipe, his mouth finding purchase on the tip of her ear, pulling gently, all the while his talented fingers drove her to heaven.

She could feel his hand twisting inside her; pushing towards that one niche he knew by heart. He found purchase and her eyes fluttered. Her mouth opened in a long gasp and her hands flailed before sinking nails deep into his shoulder blades. She was at the rim. Suddenly his fingers were gone and an upset huff of air was all she could produce to show her offense.

Without warning his mouth came to rest lazily against her forehead. She could feel his smile against her skin.

Thankfully, he wasn't planning on stopping there. She felt his mouth move slowly down her face. Pressing sloppy kisses against her cheeks and against her chin. He pressed a quick one against her pout, making sure to drag his tongue across her bottom lip before continuing on his way. He made his line of attack down her body, lazily marking a trail to her bliss. His tongue dipped into her navel and she felt a hiss escape from her lips. When his head looked up at her with a cocked eyebrow she could have died, in-fact she should have died. It was the most beautiful sight to ever meet her eyes. She couldn't even recall how someone this caring had latched onto herself, someone so dire and friendless.

She didn't get the chance to think for more than an instant before his mouth was on her, and another long moan slipped from her lips. His tongue swirled around her rim before diving in, lapping up her juices like they were something of worth. Her back bent under his onslaught and her fingers grabbed tightly onto his black hair. He took that as a sign and quickened his pace, the motion of his tongue and mouth bringing her once again to the brim of rapture.

His thumb pressing hard against her clit was all it took to send her spiraling over the edge. Her back arched to an incredible degree, her hands and his mouth the only things keeping her locked in place. The feeling was so inexplicably glorious that Winter knew she could never tire of it.

After inhaling a much-needed gulp of air she managed to look down. Qrow was examining her reactions closely. Even with his hair ruffled sheepishly from her hands the wild look in his eyes took her breath away. _Why does he have to make this so impossible?_

"Winter is cumming." He always said the same stupid joke and it always irked her to no end. He always made sure she came before him, and if she had to guess, he only did it so he could say that silly one liner. Even now, on her journey back from pure pleasure the lame reference brought forth something she had never expected from herself. Tears.

Immediately she reached a hand up to her face, hurriedly trying to hide the drops from the one thing in her life that was wonderful.

When she cleared her eyes from the first tears she could see a worried expression on his features. "Oh Fuck, Winter, Did I hurt you?" the panic in his voice was obvious.

His unending care only made more tears spill, "Oh God No… Your amazing, you always have been, I just-" She reached up to clear her face from the water works again.

His hand caught her wrist before she succeeded.

"Then was is the lame joke?" His voice was higher than normal, seeing her crying must have been more than he knew how to deal with. She had never before let someone see her cry. She wasn't one to show vulnerability. He brought things out of her she never thought she would get to experience.

She was now laughing and crying at the same time, unabashed to have him see her meltdown, "No! The joke is perfect. Every time." It was the truth. That stupid little joke had become a habitual part of her life and hearing it stated so often was one of the little things that made being with him so special. What was tearing her apart was imagining the thought of never hearing it again. The thought of once again being without love was murdering her. She swore her heart was being ripped out of her chest.

His arms wrapped around her back and she cried. It felt like she was liberating a dam that she had built up for years. The years she had wasted telling herself that she should never let herself fall for him were flashing before her eyes. The fact that she was expected to murder him and kill the one thing still beautiful in her life was pulverizing her into the ground. She was being swallowed alive by his love and she couldn't prevent herself from drowning.

Slowly, her breathing calmed, and she was able to look up at the giving man in front of her. Even now he had the gall to smile. But this time it wasn't his usual flirty smirk. This time his heart wasn't in the expression; his usually bright eyes were like dampened embers.

"I get it." His voice was a rasp, the usual husky quality filtering in.

"I'm so sorry." She didn't understand why he was still looking at her that way. Her eyes had to be swollen and irritated beyond attraction and yet his love was still evident. Her body was quaking and even she could hear the whiney tone that had taken up residency in her vocal cords.

He ran a careful hand through her hair, pushing white locks behind her ears. "There's nothing to be apologizing for."

She felt her lip quiver, and she shook her head quickly, her tears threatened to spill once again.

"I trust you. If your not comfortable with something I won't force myself on you," he went silent for a second before letting out a quick breath and continuing, "What's really the matter?"

 _I Won't. Not I can't._ For some reason that simple switch of words made a huge impact. She was as defenseless and unguarded in his eyes as he was in hers, just in separate ways. He should be strangling her for what she had originally come here to finish, not making love to her like she was the most precious thing in his life _._ "You're my weakness." When the words came out of her mouth it was like finally admitting a secret she had long been hiding from the world.

For the first time in years his face turned into a scowl. It felt like ages since that expression had been directed her way. Fear and loss threatened to overwhelm her.

 _I could finish him so easily._

She shook her head _._

 _Why am I thinking that way? Like some icy bitch with no heart! I need to stop thinking like that!_

She hated herself.

 _I came here to murder him in his sleep and yet I can't handle the thought of him leaving me? What's wrong with my head?_

Her eyes fell to the blank mattress below them. She felt his hands tighten around her thighs, his fingers lacing into her skin with enough force to make her frown. For a second a hope flashed in her that he had sensed her true intentions and would twist her head and have it be done. He didn't need her in his life. No body needed her. All she brought was pain and suffering.

When he spoke, the words came out as a command, "Winter, look me in the eye."

She continued to stare at the white bed below them, unmoving.

She felt his fingers loosen their grip on her thighs, "Winter, please." Now his voice was cracking. She could feel her heart breaking. She couldn't deny him.

Slowly she angled her head back up, shocked to see a single tear running down his cheek, "You have no weak points. Do you hear me? I know what you came here for and I know what you want me to do. Winter, I can't kill you because you are the definition of perfection in my life."

That was the worst thing he could have said to her. She knew he meant it in a good way, but it was final blow to her sense of worth. "Bullshit." the vulgarity left her mouth with a bitter taste. That word, perfection, had been used to describe her for years. From her strategy, to her swordsmanship, to her family name, to her art of killing, to her damn body, people had looked her and called her perfect. They knew nothing of her life.

"Perfection is a lie, and I am far from it." Her voice was quaking. Anger and sadness mixed together inside of her. Her rage wasn't directed specifically at Qrow, but at the world. She had always fallen short from perfection and she was ready to accept it. She was ready to fall into the bloody grasp of life and sink or swim. Secretly, she hoped she would sink.

She could see worry cloud Qrow's features. His forehead knotted, his hands clenched, his mouth pressed in a glower.

"I love you." The words came out from between her clenched teeth like a curse, "I love you, but I am not perfect. Don't you dare call me faultless. I have fallen short in more ways than you could possibly know. Qrow I had originally planned to kill you. There's no way that someone who fell into slaughtering innocence is perfect!" The words were coming out in an endless rush. Everything that she had ever felt about life and humanity and the unfairness of her own occupation was streaming from her soul and she couldn't close the trap.

After an hour of spilling every lie she had uttered, she was ready for him to hate her. She wanted him to hate her. She wanted to lose the one thing keeping her still alive and breathing. Once her abandoned her like all the others in her life, she could end it. Finally kill the one thing that made the world a difficult place for everyone else. Herself.

"Winter," the way he said her name, filled with such infatuation, killed her even more, "I knew what you were from the beginning. Do you really think I would leave you now?"

Her rage dissipated instantaneously and a state of shock set in. Her expression going blank, "If you knew what I was, and still am, and what I've done, then why haven't you ended me yet?"

His hand slowly lifted from his side to stroke against her check. She felt a shiver run up her spine and even before he spoke she guessed his words, "Everyone deserves a second chance."

He knew she hated that line, and yet he had used it anyway. He had asked before why she would cringe when the actors said it in movies. She had always just told him it was the cheesiness of it all, the plot, the lovesick performers, the idiotic drama that unfolded on screen. But in truth, it was jealousy. She herself had fallen into the pit of envy that had consumed her spirit. _Why do they get a second chance when all I get is seclusion?_ For years she had asked herself that question, denying herself any right to be saved. When others had offered her a hand she had scoffed and continued to let herself drown.

"I don't deserve a second chance." The words came out rushed and painted in her fear.

The smile that materialized on his face was like the sun, "Well too bad ice queen, your getting as many second chances as it takes. I will continue to love you until you love yourself, or you finally kill me. Its your pick of those two options."

Winter cried. She cried until there was nothing left, and the entire time he held her hand.

* * *

Her hands wound around his neck and once again she was holding herself flush against him. She never wanted to leave his arms. She never wanted to return to the dark past that always seemed to call her name.

It felt like an eternity before she spoke, her words a whisper against his ear. "Make love to me." It was a command, and she felt terrible for it but her need was too great.

She felt his shoulders droop and for a second she thought he would leave her. Then his mouth was on hers, even more tempestuous than it had been that morning. He bombarded her with kisses to the point where she couldn't breath. His limbs were captivatingly sturdy, holding her against him with a passion she still couldn't quite understand. Her own limbs felt useless against his every moving and consuming part.

This time, she focused every aspect of her being on the feel of him, the way his body shifted against her, the way his hands rubbed against her skin, the way his tongue morphed against her own. She could barely register the taste of liquor upon his tongue from that morning. They had both drowned themselves in alcohol to escape the pain of the truth. Over time, her fears were dissipating, overtaken by the radiant force that was Qrow. Without him, she surely would have surrendered to the depression.

He positioned her on her hands and knees before painting his tongue along her shoulder blades. There wasn't a square inch of her back that he did not kiss. She was sure to have inscriptions on her the following day, love bites to mark his territory and scare away unwanted eyes. When his mouth finally lifted from her back she braced herself.

With shocking precision he entered her from behind, slamming in with such force a scream escaped her mouth. Her fingers dug into the bed below and her toes automatically curled. She had no time to breath before he was hammering into her, demanding her body to make room. She could hear his heavy breaths and moans and her own voice echoed back in response. Her brain was spiraling up higher and higher along with her volume. With each thrust Winter could feel the cold leave her.

For a minute she forgot who she was, what she was, what she had done, and what she was struggling with. For an instant the sky looked so close and she could see stars. For a minute in time she felt completely and utterly loved.

Before she could wish to freeze time the moment ended, and she crashed back down to earth.

Covered in sweat and panting she turned around. The half lidded look on the mans face paired with his open mouth brought Winter her first true sense of fulfillment. Slowly she pulled Qrow down on top of her. The man who brought her such miraculous bliss wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled his head into her neck. She let out a long breath and closed her eyes.

For once she didn't care to stop time, letting Qrow's heart and the ticking clock lull her to sleep. After all, he would still be there tomorrow.

* * *

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